Combating Childism
Part of the revolution will always be raising free Black children. In order to do that, we have to tackle this real ongoing problem of childism. Recognizing that issue is at the cornerstone of positively guiding our children as parents into the joy of freedom in their Blackness.
I know what you are thinking! So many buzzwords in today's language. A long list of isms streaming from the never ending crashing affects of white supremacy. And yet here she comes with another!
Yes I am sure it is hard to compartmentalize it all, but everything has its place. Today let's tackle childism. It's important. It's a starting block. It's the cornerstone to get going on using positive guiding strategies with your children as they grow and learn.
Childism is defined as prejudices against children that often results in treating them as less than human.
Seeing your children as less than presents itself in different ways. Sometimes it looks like the "children should be seen not heard mentality". The lack of autonomy over body and space or lack of independent decisions is another example. Another looks like not allowing children to speak their mind because hearing the truth and call for accountability from someone smaller than us hits a chord. The belief age demands respect and it's not required to be reciprocated from the adult. It's using shame and punishment as a way to manipulate/break children. It's ever present. It's oh so real. It's yet another oppressive system waiting and needing to be broken down.
Truth is our kids have as much and sometimes more to offer BECAUSE they lack those things people deem oh so important and qualifying such as hardships, life experience, and hardened world views. Children, when given the space to, are the best at keeping us honest, accountable, unbiased, empathetic and compassionate. Below are some ways we can combat childism in our homes and in the world!
-Let them speak. Let them be heard. Way too often kids are told to hush and not speak their mind or feelings because it's usually honest and hurts the ego of adults.
-Speaking of ego always be ready to check yours as often as you can. Perfection isn't expected but giving yourself time to pause before responding can give you time to think. Often what the child saying is valid but because they don't know or have any tact it comes out wrong. You can acknowledge a good point while also pointing out a better way to say it. " I understand you don't like this juice. Next time maybe say can I have something different please." You'll come to find that often you aren't modeling how to speak politely which brings us to the next point.
-Model how you want to be treated. Too often we think we can treat kids any kind of way and when it happens back to us, it's a problem. They may be younger than you but everyone deserves equal respect.
-Offer chances to be independent and have autonomy over their body and space whenever safe, possible, and in an age appropriate manner of course.
-Have realistic expectations. Parents often forget that kids do the best they can with what they have. Child development is important to know so we have realistic expectations of what's happening and a realistic perspective. Your child isn't always doing things on purpose and they don't necessarily know better. Their brain is developing and certain aspects take time. Exercise grace for them and yourself. Keeping things realistic developmentally will save stress for EVERYONE in the situation.
These are but a few starter ways to combat the ever growing presence of childism in America one Black child at a time. It's a way to parent intentionally and gently. It's what our children need and deserve as growing human beings in this world. It's what'll help them be empathetic, productive, healthy-minded, free children which then carries on into adulthood.