Black Birthing Bodies & Mental Health

The post about the mother trying to commit a harmful act toward herself and new baby is circulating. As always, *insert eye roll here* people both with and without kids are quick to pass judgement with no regard to human feelings or even a smidge of empathy. As always our need to paint ourselves as better than while sitting comfy behind a screen takes over. So many people don't even begin to understand the ins and out of mental health and the HUGE toll it takes on the mind within even the BEST of us; Never taking a look at the role society plays in Black mental health especially that of birthing bodies.

It's a sad fact that postpartum affects so many birthing bodies. At least 1 in 7 mothers will be affected by postpartum and that manifests in various ways. When looking at Black mothers, they are less likely to seek treatment for postpartum due to judgements from the system, society, and stereotypes placed against them. Often times, Black bodies find themselves getting welfare calls when they admit to not being 100% okay while their white counterparts are met with compassion. Doctors hesitate to provide medication to Black bodies due to a fear of drug misuse and this misconception that we experience pain differently. Society gives these perfect resiliency stereotypes to Black birthing bodies making it hard to admit fault or ask for help. It's a lose, lose, lose situation all the way around when facing the after trauma of birth.

Black birthing bodies 2 to 6 times more likely to die than their white counterparts. Not to mention even when they don't die traumatizing birth stories are of the norm for Black birthing bodies. After experiencing a traumatic birth coming home to deal with postpartum isn't easy and the support there after doesn't increase. Black mothers are left to face the good, the bad, and the ugly of fresh parenthood. Fresh from trauma, Black birthing bodies are expected to do the cooking, cleaning, be productive grown human beings, face systematic issues of the world all while raising one or more children. They aren't allowed to ask for help..

They don't feel as much pain.

They HAVE to be perfectly resilient.

 They are just being whiny.

They aren't allowed to feel sadness.

They aren't allowed to get a break.

 Moms who leave their kids this early are (insert nasty name here of choice). 

All words and phrases ive seen perpetuated firsthand, some toward myself.  

When they try to uphold these stereotypes and finally and RIGHTFULLY crack, everyone looks around pointing fingers ready to trash Black bodies as if they didn't see the signs (while also ignoring them) and as if they didn't have a hand in adding strain to an already taxing experience.

Truth is I've been there. Postpartum got me. I threw a table against a wall along with other objects. I visualized harming myself and baby. Regardless of whether I went through with it, It was real. The pain and pressure IS OVERWHELMINGLY REAL and it hurts. It took me a minute to get help. It took so much courage and overcoming anxiety; I did it alone.

So what then can we do to change the narrative? How do we help before the last second? 

1 Get rid of these Black superhuman tropes. They aren't healthy. AT ALL. 

2 Become a village and safe space for your fellow birthing body. We got us. We HAVE to have us because nobody else will.

3 Notice the signs from others and yourself. Be vigilant. Be gracious.

4 Speak up. Advocate for yourself and others.

5 Support Black birthworkers/doulas etc so they can continue doing the work they do best trying to tear down this dangerous system that harms Black birthing bodies while also trying to build a new one. They are also helping to facilitate the beautiful process that Black bodies go through before, during, and after birth. Its taxing hard work they need community support and to be uplifted. 

6 Help change the stigma. The stigma needs to change in the Black community and in society period when it comes to mental health. It's okay to seek help. It's okay if your help looks like just talking to someone or like me needing medication too.

Society needs to wake up and realize currently the medical system isn't for Black bodies and that needs to change. As regular folks such as family members, friends, and village members, STOP adding to the pressure and pain that Black birthing bodies experience especially just to turn around and laugh and judge when they can't measure up. It's time to stop. Its time to do better.

It's time to take Black Postpartum mental heath seriously before the headlines hit.

Before the social media buzz.

Before lives are lost.

These are the thoughts of this imperfect immersed Black momma.